I don’t know about you, but I feel very blessed to live on the same planet as Liam Gallagher.
This is a man who reportedly went into anaphylactic shock after eating a blue–yes, the report was very specific, it was blue–M&M.
This is a man who once tweeted, “Diarrhea in Korea!” (If there ever were a reason to join the Twitter universe, this man and his side-splitting tweets are it.)
This is a man who is a Belieber, going so far as to once claim that the front cover of the new Beady Eye album, BE, would read BE on the front, with I-E-B-E-R on the back. This comes from the same man who previously stated the new album would be called Lay Off My Avocado, Baby.
This is a man who claims his rear behind is superior to Beyonce’s.
This is a man whose outspoken nature is matched by no one (except maybe his brother) and whose raw, gritty voice is one of the most distinctive and powerful in all of rock ‘n’ roll history.
When Oasis split–actually, let me rephrase that: When Noel Gallagher left Oasis, Liam instantly formed Beady Eye with the other members of Oasis. Meanwhile, Noel went out to sulk in his limousine and write a carefully worded statement explaining his reasons for leaving the band. (Actually, there was one reason: Liam.) In 2011, the two camps released their respective debut albums: Different Gear, Still Speeding (Beady Eye) and Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds. Sales of Different Gear, Still Speeding were disappointing, dismal even. Still, I liked the album (more immediate than High Flying Birds, which I didn’t really appreciate until I’d listened to it about a dozen times)–maybe because it is part of my DNA to love anything Liam Gallagher touches. Just maybe.
As much as I loved that album, though, the new Beady Eye album, BE, is far superior. Kind of like Liam Gallagher’s behind is far superior to Beyonce’s. I love BE so much more than Different Gear, Still Speeding. Maybe it’s because it is new, and I haven’t had the chance to spend 700 hours of my life devouring it, listening to it nonstop, wondering if my ears will start to bleed from listening to it so much. Yet.
I’m not going to review the album track-by-track because: 1) It’s pointless. Every person who listens to this album will have a different opinion of it, will love certain tracks and loathe others. 2) I haven’t spent 700 hours of my life devouring this album yet, and thus I don’t feel even remotely qualified to write about it in detail. Shame on every music journalist in the world who thinks they are qualified to review this album because they’ve listened to it once or twice or six times–that is not enough!!!!!!!!!
Instead, I’ll just say that I can’t remember the last time I listened to a song repeatedly as much as I have listened to “Flick of the Finger.” And as much flak as Liam receives for his lyrics (Bob Dylan he is not), I don’t know that there are any lyrics as heartfelt as those found in “Don’t Brother Me.” (Don’t know who that song could be about, though. Don’t have a clue. Nope, nope, Noel. Er…) And for a man whose real voice hasn’t supposedly been heard since the millennium, the voice on this record, real or plasticine, sounds pretty freaking awesome.
Still, there will be critics and fans and hateful people in general who will hate this album and crucify it and proclaim it to be an offense to human life. And that’s okay. Because they are that other type of person in this world. Let me explain. In What About Bob?, the main character, Bob Wiley, explains his divorce to his psychiatrist this way: “There are two types of people in this world: those who like Neil Diamond and those who don’t. My ex-wife loves him.”
Well, I say, “There are two types of people in this world: those who like Liam Gallagher and those who don’t.” And what a sad, sad existence one must live to not like Liam Gallagher.
I mean, how do you hate a man sitting on a leopard print coach, wearing red pants, with a Who coffee mug, kissing a teddy bear? How?
When asked by Jools Holland where the title of the new album (BE) comes from, Liam responded, “Be whatever you wanna be, just be, just be a bee.”
I think I’ll just be grateful we live on the same planet, Mr. Gallagher, a planet where you make music and often outlandish, even more often true statements. That’s enough for me.