Six million dollars says I won’t watch this movie again…

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I recently fulfilled a life-long dream (nightmare?) of mine and finally saw Paul McCartney’s infamous Give My Regards to Broad Street.

The plot (I use the term loosely here) goes something like this: A famous pop star named Paul McCartney (played by Paul McCartney) has completed his latest album, which is sure to be a smashing success, but the master tapes, entrusted in the hands of an employee named Harry with a seedy past, have disappeared! And if Macca can’t locate them by Midnight, he will lose his company. He will also turn into a pumpkin (not really, but I wouldn’t put it past him).

What ensues is a film that doesn’t really make too much sense, rich with wonderful musical performances and ridiculous dream sequences. It all begins with Paul driving this awesome car…

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PM 1. Get it?

With this awesome personal digital assistant before there were personal digital assistants or smart phones or anything…

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Wearing this awesome outfit…

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Sweatpants and sneakers sadly not pictured. Sorry, girls, he’s married!

The film really starts to take off with the entrance of the seasoned actor that is Ringo Starr (of Caveman fame), whose one liners make the film a lot of fun. He wears equally ridiculous outfits and says things like, “Can we get some heat in here or are we practicing to be Canadians?” We also see him meet a reporter who looks a lot like Barbara Bach…

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She wants to talk about the relative value of popular music as a therapeutic tool for social services or something and Ringo’s all…

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“I’m on drums.”

Yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

The film may be short (like really short) on plot and making sense, but it (sort of) makes up for it with all the musical performances. The repertoire is a mixture of Beatles classics (most of which were rarely, if ever, played live by the Beatles themselves), Wings standards, and some of Paul’s (the real Paul, not the character in the film) latest solo material, namely Tug of War tracks. As the movie poster advertises, “When the music stops, the mystery begins.” That is pretty much true. When the music stops, I actually have no idea what is happening in this movie. It goes from present day Paul at a radio station to a long dream sequence where Paul, Linda, Ringo, and Barbara, in full Victorian attire, head out a picnic, then Paul sees a vision of Linda on a horse with her hair crimped, and Paul ends up in a seedy alley witnessing his missing employee being beaten up by a big, bad guy. Like, what the heck just happened? I am just going to assume that this is one of those things that only makes sense to you if you are on drugs. (Let’s not forget this only a few years after the infamous Japanese pot bust…) This sequence does, however, give us a glimpse of what Ringo and Paul would look like as Dark Shadows characters.

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Count Petofi, is that you?

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Quentin?!!

George, where are you? How could you pass up the opportunity to appear in this film? George would totally make a perfect Barnabas. Oh well. I think I recall George saying he was a fan of the film, anyway.

Which, when it comes right down to it, I am, too. Yes, it’s not the best-written (the screenplay was penned by Paul himself) or the most sublimely-acted film. It doesn’t always make too much sense. (Similar to Magical Mystery Tour, where the plot is tenuously held together via the musical sequences.) It is, in fact, more than slightly ridiculous. But it is entertaining, moreso at some points than at others, and because I love Paul and co., I love it. Plus, there’s a huge twist at the end! But six million dollars still says I won’t watch this film again (in full, at least)…

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Sorry, Paul.

(Yes, that is the real Paul McCartney, pretending to be the character Paul McCartney, busking in Leicester Square. No, most people did not know it was the real Paul McCartney. Yes, some people gave him real money. No, he did not keep it. Yes, he is amazing.)

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6 thoughts on “Six million dollars says I won’t watch this movie again…

  1. quentin? reminds me of carl collins, q’s ridiculous (even by ds standards) older brother. quentin during one scene had to turn his back on him, i presume to hide his laughing.

    i’ll consider watching it when i hear about mccartney running thru london backwards.

    • No way! Those sideburns scream Quentin! Any John Karlen character not Willie Loomis is a joke (and still even then, but in the absolute best way). If you’re not willing to give Broad Street a go, then I’m guessing you won’t be watching the ’85 version of Alice in Wonderland with Ringo as Mock Turtle…

      • i agree that even the (post barnabas-bite) loomis character was a joke. reminiscent of the way they ruined one of the best characters on the show in the first season by taking a super scary (naturally, not super-naturally) character and making him into just another boring rich kid. there was plenty of non-super natural material that could have been developed to make a horrifically good show without having to get ridiculous.

        i don’t know about you, but i feel little need to see a fictional depiction of a wonderland. much of real life in fantastical enuf for me.

        i’d have liked to see liam legend go up against barnabas instead of loomis. then we’d have some drama…a fair fight i say. but keep the inspired cobert music though.

      • although come to thinkm of it, “cigarettes and alcohol” would have fit in nicely.

  2. fellow salt’n’pepa mullet fan here (as is my mom, hmmmm)… just found your blog and have been reading all the McCartney related posts. Brilliant! we have such similar opinions it’s almost crossed from cute to creepy… almost

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